$10k to $15k seems like an extremely reasonable budget based on your finances and that you're both frugal.
Advise him that:
1. He is getting off cheap
2. Whether he wants to learn the lesson now, or in a few years from now, he should know his role is to make you happy and the words "I'm sorry" will be the most important ones in his vocabulary going forward. It took me a couple years to learn, but 25 years later I can confidently say it's made everything better/easier.
3. This is the only wedding you will have and 30 years from now, the $10k-$15k will be meaningless, but you will still have the memories from your wedding day.
edited by njhowie on 4/5/2017
I've posted in the past about my relationship with the Boyfriend and how we've managed finances throughout the past 5 years.
Just a little update - "Boyfriend" is now "Fiance!"
In the few weeks we've been engaged, our money conversations have already shifted as we've been disagreeing about how much we can/should spend on a wedding. We're planning to merge all finances after we're married, so it definitely changes the discussion and perception since one day after the event it'll all be "our" money. I'm reasonably frugal, he's super-frugal, so we're debating between whether the wedding expense should be almost nothing (his view) or in the $10-15k range (my view).
I'm trying to keep an open mind about his desire to not spend, but I'll be honest - when we have a combined roughly half a million dollar net worth and are debt free, it's going to be very hard to convince me that 10-15k isn't a completely reasonable amount to spend on the wedding. I'm willing to cut costs pretty ruthlessly in other areas though - we've been sharing my paid off Honda for the past year instead of driving two cars, we're renting a place with no garage parking because it's $400/month cheaper than local apartments with garages, etc. We're a good team - he encourages me to save everything, I encourage him to spend reasonable amounts of money on things we enjoy. I think it works out pretty well overall.
Posting here because I know in blog posts people love to talk about how insanely cheap they were when planning their weddings, or how they made the decision to spend more. Opening up this topic for anyone who wants to share wedding planning stories/tips, or other general advice about managing finances jointly.